I'd rather everything stay the same than face the adjustments of change. There have been seasons of my life when everything feels settled and as it should be. There have also been seasons where I've felt uprooted, unsettled, and out of place. Several seasons involved losing close friends and family - to new jobs and new cities, to illness, and to simply growing apart. I've walked away from many of these seasons wondering why I put in the effort to love deeply, fully, and intentionally if people are just going to leave. It is hard work to open yourself up and deepen relationships. It requires a lot of vulnerability to welcome people into your limitations and struggles, which makes it even more difficult when those relationships...
I know people with way too many lemons. I know people with way too many lemons who are told they should just make some lemonade. And what I've learned is that those words are not helpful. There are many people who have bravely shared their stories with me - many that left me speechless. It is an honor to be the recipient of someone's story; to be handed a rich collection of all the moments that shape a person. It isn't always easy to respond to someone else's pain - in fact it's often super uncomfortable. Even though we've experienced our own pain, we still struggle to respond to someone else's. Our brains are wired to avoid pain - to flee from it as quickly...
I'm thinking about gaining.This time of year, our society tends to function around the idea of losing. Losing weight, cutting back on social media, TV, sugar - whatever it is. We set goals in December to start working toward at the beginning of January. We spend money on plans, apps, gadgets - anything that will help us obtain the deficits we need. I often wonder if we focused our attention on gaining rather than a deficit, would we find a renewed sense of wonder and passion for our day to day lives? When we operate from a position of "I GET to add this" it can shift our perspectives toward the goals we set as a result. We are too harsh with ourselves. Too image focused, too hungry to...
Does the frosting really matter? I asked this question all of the time growing up. Being a rather impatient and eager little girl with an enormous sweet tooth, the process of finishing cupcakes was torture. First you had to mix all of the ingredients together (and eat half of the batter), then put them in cupcake liners, bake them, let them cool, AND ice them, all before you could sink your teeth into their sugary goodness. In my mind it wasn't worth the wait. I could not understand why my grandmother insisted that this was the best method. It clearly wasn't. And so, I would whine, "does the frosting really maaaaattttter?" Gently she would respond, "Yes, it matters. It matters because it means you worked...
G R A T I T U D E. Oh it's hard sometimes friends. Can anyone relate?It's hard to quiet the comparisons. It's hard to focus on small, good things when it seems like all of the big things are rebelling against our preferred timelines or expectations. It is hard to live with gratitude when we are conditioned to criticize and see through a lens of "lack" or deficit rather than abundance. I wonder about gratitude. I question it's impact in my life - in the lives of my family and friends. Would I see them differently if I saw myself in a more grateful light?I wonder if we increased our gratitude practices, if we would flourish a little more. Read on, I know I needed these words...
